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How to be Positive (When you're feeling negative)

This is my second “How to be positive” post, here I take a crack at how we can be positive when we're already negative to begin with.

I’ve always been advised that I should quickly and immediately replace negative thoughts with positive ones. My first reaction to that was always: “Easier said than done, Sherlock!”

Here’s the thing, when I’m feeling negative, I think about negative things. This then feeds itself into a negative-loop: Negative thoughts leads to negative emotions, negative emotions fuel new negative thoughts. I won’t necessarily spiral down into depression, but I’m still stuck at being negative.

At this point, it’s almost virtually impossible to push any thoughts of positivity into my mind. No matter how hard I try to be positive, I just can’t seem to switch into a ‘positive’ mood or mindset. I’ll receive a strong resistance from a negative voice that tells me: "The truth is ugly even if you try to be positive, the reality is painful even if you choose run away from it,"

This is because positivity and negativity are mutually exclusive - a lesson I later learnt. They simply cannot exist harmoniously because you cannot be positive when you’re negative and you cannot be negative when you’re positive.

This also explains why when I’m in a positive mood, nothing can seem to stop me. No negativity can get to me; complaints, hurtful comments, criticisms simply wouldn’t affect me – precisely because I’m already positive.

So when you’re feeling down, sad, disappointed, frustrated and angry, the first thing you need to do is rid yourself of all negative thoughts and emotions, before even attempting to be positive.

Detach yourself from the negative situation mentally and emotionally. Let go of everything that you are unhappy, disappointed or frustrated about. Give up and surrender it to the universe. The key is to detach the emotion completely – be an emotionless freak.

As soon as you’ve let go by declaring that you are giving it up, all your mental and emotional negativity gets released along with it. You will experience an inner peace like no other – your emotion calms, your thoughts collected.

All puzzle pieces will fall to the ground and you’ll be able to see the big picture of things - in a complete state of neutrality. When you've achieved this, choosing to be positive is easy.

Here are 3 tips on how you can eliminate negative thoughts or feelings to return to a state of neutrality, they are commonly effective.

#1 Stop whining and stop complaining.

These are two negative affirmations that will fuel your bitterness. We complain because it makes us feel better for awhile. It allows us to vent our frustrations and somebody will usually hear us out, or (worse still) complain along with us. This creates a false and unproductive sense of camaraderie.

Complaining only wastes time and effort. It does not change anything and you are probably attracting more of the things which you do not want. Instead of whining, do something to change it. If there's nothing you can do, make fun of it; create a joke so everyone can just laugh it off. Laugh it off and return to your prior state of calm and peace.

#2 Stop blaming, take responsibility and take action.

"It's your fault, your problem, your responsibility. You fix it, you make it right." Sounds familiar? :) You can't feel positive even if you 'delegate' the problem to someone else. Sitting around and waiting for him or her to fix the situation will probably frustrate you further.

If it's truly someone else's problem don't make it yours - (once again) just let go of what has happened. If you decide to do something about it (other than blaming someone else), then grant yourself "the serenity to accept what you cannot change, courage to change what you can, and wisdom to know the difference."

There's absolutely no need for negativity.

#3 Excuse yourself.

When I say 'excuse yourself', I don't mean make up excuses, I mean 'GO AWAY'; leave the room, take a hike, walk it off, sleep on it, beat it; do whatever else you can to distance yourself from the situation so you can (as discussed previously) detach yourself emotionally.

Once you're out of the situation, think (from a neutral position) about what kind of emotional state do you want to return into it. You can return to it feeling negative, or you can return to it feeling positive. It doesn't matter which you choose, for as long as you make a choice, you are at least doing it consciously - and you'll therefore more likely to choose NOT to be negative.

#4 Understand why you feel negative.

When we rationalize the negative emotions or thoughts, we raise our consciousness. Our negativity usually stems out of fear or uncertainty. The good thing about feeling negative out of fear or out of uncertainty is that we can overcome or conquer them.

"A clear understanding of negative emotions dismisses them." - Vernon Howard.

To conclude this post, always remember that to be positive when we are negative, we must first return to a state of neutrality. From there on, being positive is as simple as making a choice.

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